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"Well youuuuuuuuuu have a gambling problem!" springs to mind.

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King size Homer has this epic “Homer in his own world” moment-

Marge: Hi. Erm, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. Did you put on a little weight this week?

Homer: I was going to surprise you, but what the heck: honey, I'm purposely gaining 61 pounds to get on disability!

Marge: [gasps] Have you lost your mind? Have you thought about your health...or your appearance?

Homer: Oh. So that's it, isn't it, Marge? Looks. I didn't know you were so shallow.

Marge: Oh, please. I would love you if you weighed 1000 pounds, but --

Homer: Beautiful. Good night.

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